This is my last autumn in Japan for next year I will be back to my country. My journey has almost come to its end. I am a very nostalgic person but the more so lately because of this season. My Japanese language teacher told me that the falling leaves in autumn evoke a feeling of sabishii or loneliness and I could not agree more with her. The leaves are vibrant with colors yet so vulnerable to the wind. They glow under the sun and then slowly just fall, still, they cover our path with carpets of yellow, orange, and red. When I walked down under the trees, holding myself from the chilling air, I know that I was walking a miniature of life itself.
For a moment life is so colorful and full of promises, then after a short adventure it will stop, for you and for me. I was born with no friend and will rest in my tomb with none.The question is whether I will leave this earth with grace and beauty as those falling leaves. I do not know yet, as myself is still in the making. Sometimes I stumble down and have a hard time pulling myself up. Sometimes I feel like I could be anything I choose to be. Sometimes I feel discarded, sometimes I am to afraid to take my tickets to the awaited journeys.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson in A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles